GUN 2013

Chapter 8


Our mission objective is to get to Prescott, Arizona, & await further instruction.  We’re there.

We’ve been here for some time now.  About a month.  Awaiting further instruction.

My hunch is our mission has something to do with gun legislation in Washington D.C.

So I drop by the library at the Yavapai Community College & rifle through the NRA’s latest American Rifleman magazine, which on the cover claims to be “The World’s Oldest & Largest Firearm Authority.”

This is a paranoid periodical.  The U.S. President is referred to as “King Pinnochio” on the cover ~ as if our president is the one doing all the lying.  Pinnochio was a wooden puppet of lore whose nose grew real long because he lied.  I don’t think the president’s nose is as long as Pinnochio’s.  And I don’t think the president is made out of wood. 

This is the April 2013 edition of the American Rifleman on the table in front of me.  Working in a thrift store a few years back, I came across hundreds of older issues of this magazine when it was highly regarded.  It doesn’t look so reputable now.  Twenty first-grade children and their teachers were massacred by a nut-cake wielding an assault weapon not too long ago in Newtown, Connecticut.  The president feels it is his duty to do something about it.  This magazine claims that our man in the White House is blatantly lying about what he’s doing.

According to Wayne Peeintheair, the most outspoken voice in this National Rifle Association (NRA) publication, the best thing the president can do, is make sure the laws already on the books are being enforced.  Not a bad idea.  My hunch is the president is already doing the best he can with this.

Three quotes by the president are highlighted on the first page of the cover story.  The quotes reflect common sense and are fair.  But, of course, Peeintheair writes in this article that the president is lying, especially when the president says, “I am not going to take your guns away.”  Peeintheair would find loopholes in the truth if the president said, “I am black.”

Also, why is it that when people like Peeintheair rant and rave about their 2nd Amendment right to bare firearms, they never mention the first part of the amendment about a “well regulated militia”?  Privately owned vehicles are strictly regulated via driver’s licenses, car registration, and car insurance.  What makes these people think deadly firearms should be exempt from such regulatory attention ~ especially after the needless slaughter of 20 school children?  

I say President Barack Obama is not lying.  I am the White House’s favorite secret agent.  Well, I am one of them.  The other one is my partner on this mission, Ms. Submissivania Whapp.

~ Rawclyde!




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